Porny solo

Okay I don’t even know if this even makes sense to anyone, but I wanted to do a post about it anyway. Lately, I’ve found myself doing something I like to call porny masturbation a lot. Like, the way the girls do it in the videos. Lemme explain.

We all know porn is fake, right? Fake people, fake shots, fake moaning, fake orgasms. It’s still fun though, so who cares? But as I said, I’ve kinda been doing it myself too quite a lot, lately. I’ve taken over a few signature moves, and it’s a loooootttta fun. Here’s what I do!

Striptease

I do stripteases now. It doesn’t make sense, no one’s watching and I’m not recording them or anything. I guess it’s just a lot of fun to put on some music, dance slowly, and take off my clothing piece by piece. Definitely a mood-starter.

Sitting against something

Central heating, for instance. I’ve moved furniture around not too long ago, and one of the things I love most about this new setup is the fact that I now have a radiator without anything blocking it. It’s great to heat up the place, but as winter is approaching, it’s also perfect for sitting against. Naked. Doing… things.

Wall-mounted toys

This is something that doesn’t make sense at all if you do it without a camera pointing at you. And yet holy smokes, I can’t get enough of it. Y’all know the videos, with a dildo mounted to a wall or mirror and a girl doggying herself with it? It’s nothing like the real deal (I have to do all the hard work myself, huehue) but it’s so much fun!

Riding toys

Sorta similar, but different: putting a toy on the floor and riding it, cowgirl-style. Kinda ruins my knees, but hey, no pleasure without pain, right? And the orgasms are definintely worth it.

Standing up

Why stand up and move yourself into weird positions when you can just chill on the bed? Well, because! For starters, it means I can play wherever I want, even in the hallway or the laundry room. It works perfectly just after a striptease, and even better with the wall-mount I mentioned. Takes some practice, but it’s fuuunnn.

Loudness

Don’t get me wrong, I’m loud. When in the bedroom with a boy and being banged perhaps slightly rougher than is healthy for my body. But when I’m on my own, I can be as quiet as I need to be. But when I don’t have to be quiet, moaning makes things a lot more exciting. Especially when I know my neighbors are in. Oh well, I can always pretend I was watching porn, right?

Toyjobs

I may have made up this word. It’s like a blowjob, but on a toy instead of a boy. Even I found this a bit weird to do at first, but I’ve really gotten into it. And it’s great practice for the real deal!

Squirmy orgasms

Kidding, I’ve always done this. But maybe I exaggerate a little bit every now and then. You know, for artsy purposes. And it does help with the intensity of all the things!

 

I don’t know, maybe I’ve missed my calling :p