#anal

I have no idea when it started. Who did it first. Who on Earth thought: hey, that getting you pregnant thing is getting kinda boring, why not turn you around and try that other side for a bit? I just don’t know. But whoever did: thank you, Sir, thank you with all my heart.

This is gonna be a bit of a weird post. It’s not a story, nor a single memory. It’s not a “look what I did yesterday” or “omg I gotta tell you about something”. It’s more like an ode. An ode to something everyone should probably try at least once (preferrably twice) before saying no to it. And I should know!

I’m talking, of course, about anal (read the title dammit). Butt stuff. Taking it up the wrong hole. I’m just saying it like it is, else this post will be a heck of a lot of beating around the bush – and if I can’t even talk about getting my ass fucked on a blog, when can I?

So. Anal. A lot of people want it. A lot of people do it. A lot of people can’t even stand the thought of it, but hey, each to their own, right?

So how did it start?

I was hesitant at first, to say the very least. Every single bias crossed my mind. It’s gross. It’ll hurt. Guys will think I’m some crazy sex addict who just can’t even get off doing the normal stuff any more (is that really that bad, though?). But then I arrived at a period in my sex life when all that stuff didn’t really matter all that much any more. I was like: okay, so what if they think I’m weird? So what if they don’t want me to enjoy myself?

So I pulled myself together as well as I could, walked up to my then-bf and said: yo Simon. Wanna try anal?

Simon didn’t wanna try anal. So there was that. We kept dating for a while, having super awesome normal sex, and then we broke up. And then I thought: maybe this isn’t something you do with your bf (that was young Noëlle, bear in mind). So the very next time I was in bed with someone I barely knew (young Noëlle already did that on occasion), I asked Vic the same question. Wanna try anal?

Vic did wanna try anal. And Vic got anal. It took ages, and lots of lube, and lots of ouchies, but eventually, the Vic Dick was inside the Noëlle Butt. And Vic knew: I should probably hang onto this one. And Noëlle thought: this is my thing now. Noëlle is now a girl that likes anal.

Since that day, I’ve asked every guy that’s been in the same bed as me the same question (minus some randoms I didn’t wanna have the pleasure of answering it). Some of them declined, a few were hesitant, but the far majority went hell-to-da-yeah. And so (not particularly proud of this but hey! my life) there has been a goooooood number of guys that have, y’know, banged some Noëlle ass.

So why do I like it so much?

Because it feels flippin’ awesome, that’s why. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts like hell when 8 inch Vic tries to force his way in. And sure, i’d feel mortified when anyone other than my close friends would find out I’m one of those girls. But if you dig the feeling, and you like the way it makes your orgasms juuuuust that little bit more intense, why not keep doing it?

And boy, does it do that last thing! When something or someone is doing naughty stuff to my butt, I just cum harder. It’s as if my brain and body are totally focusing on the anal thing, and then when I’m about to get there, they both realize at the same time: shit, we gotta deal with Noëlle as well! The orgasm that follows is a weird mixture of regular “wahooo we made it happen again” and “omg there’s still something back there as well”. Another analogy (haha i said “anal” again): it’s like you’re having a barbecue in your garden, and you hear the door bell ring, and you open the door, and there’s courier handing you a package with those cute panties you ordered online, and just as you take it from him, you realize you’re still gonna have a barbecue. Or something.

But that’s what it is! It’s 100% extra. Bonus. A free gift when buying something you were gonna buy anyway.

So what about the pain?

You’ll get used it it. In fact, you’ll learn to love it. It still hurts, like hell. But it’s the good kinda pain. Right?

So you’re gonna keep doing it then?

Oh yeeeaaaashhhhh. If the guy knows how to treat the body, he deserves to get the ass. Doesn’t matter how big he is. Or how long he lasts. Or even how well he goes down. If Noëlle gets in the mood, she wants you to say “Oh my, did I really just put it in there?”

I’m also gonna keep doing it on my own. Not all the time, it’s not like I can’t have a great orgasm without Mr. Naughty Webshop up my butt. But from time to time, sure. In fact: sometimes, when I just wanna get into the mood, I go hours without even touching the good parts, but with a toy around, against, or inside my butt. It’s become a way of teasing myself. Get the good vibes in before I’m ready to get them out again.

Any final thoughts?

Nothing I haven’t said before. I love anal. The feeling of something/someone forcing their way in, while I’m trying to make myself to bananas, is just amazing. It makes me hornier. It makes my orgasms better. It makes me feel like the dirrrrrrrrty girl I sometimes wanna be when I’m naked.

Wait, I do have one final thought. Guys (and maybe even girls), if you’re banging a girl, and you keep thinking how it would be to spread those butt cheeks and fill her up, just go for it! Chances are she might like it 😉