OMG I’M CUMMING

Orgasms are hands down the most satisfying part of sex. I’ve had quite a few of ’em (quick math: on average about 2-ish a day, 14 a week, 60 a month, 750 a year, 5000 since I discovered them). So imma tell you all about how I experience them, how I make them happen, why I like them so much and the best (and the worst) ones I’ve ever had. Cum with me *winks* into Noëlle’s World of Orgasm.

Like I said, orgasms are crazy satisfying. Of course, foreplay is awesome, and sex feels pretty damn good at the time, but it’s only really good when banging actually ends with a bang. It’s the icing on the cake, topping on ice cream, parmezan cheese on a plate of pasta.

How about the first time?

I had my first orgasm when I was 14 years old. I knew masturbation existed, but I had never tried it myself. Until the subject came up during a sleepover party, and the other girls were stunned when I told them I had never made whoopee with myself. The next day, in the comfort and safety of my own bedroom, when I was absolutely certain my parents were asleep, I went for it.

It’s hard to describe how I felt afterwards, but I’ll give it a go. I was afraid I’d feel embarrassed, but that wasn’t the case at all. I felt angry that I hadn’t tried it before. I felt so excited I wanted to tell all my friends about it. But above all, I felt awesome. Since that day, I’ve had lots and lots of them.

So how do I do it?

Usually, I prefer the basics. Lying in bed, getting rid of all my clothes, rubbin’ ’til I’m cummin’. Those orgasms are like the base line. Success is guaranteed, it never sucks, and it’s always pretty good. But sometimes, a girl needs more than just pretty good. Which is why I have a fun collection of toys that I can use when I’m feeling like more than just another orgasm.

Sometimes, the bed just doesn’t do the trick. I often switch to other spots. Normal ones, like the couch or the shower, more exciting ones, like the kitchen floor or the balcony, or plain dangerous ones, like a store’s dressing room, the beach, or just right out there in the open (like I told y’all about here and here and even here. Playing in other places usually makes it harder to cum, but when it happens, it’s always special.

Basically, there’s two types of orgasm. The first one is when my hand, or a toy, or random object, rubs the love button. The other one is when something slips inside. I can cum both ways, but there’s a difference between them. The “superficial” one is usually the quickest and easiest, and the orgasm is quick as well. The “deep” one usually takes a lot more time and effort, but it’s so much more intense. A combination of the two is hard to accomplish, but holy smokes it’s heaven.

What if someone else helps?

Obviously, I don’t only play solo. Sometimes I get help. Whether it’s a boyfriend, a random fling, or even a girl, my orgasms when someone else is there with me usually are better than the ones I have alone. They’re less perfect (I know what I like best, of course), but I guess that helps with the suspense and the urge to climax.

Again, with someone else, the two types come into play. I can get fingered, licked, rubbed, or whatevered, or I can get fucked by a boy or toy. On very few occasions, I’ve had orgasms combining the two, but that’s rare. I can’t say which ones are better, they’re both awesome in their own little ways.

The first time I had an orgasm that didn’t happen because of things I did myself, was when my bf-at-the-time invited me over when his parents were on vacation. The first 10 or so were all basic ones (you know, the rubbing type). After that, when I had decided I’d let him, you know, fuck me, I had a lot of both.

So what’s been the best one yet then?

Uhm, tough question. There’s so many things that can make an orgasm a really good one, and it all depends on the mood, the settings, the techniques, and the company. The first really awesome one I can remember, happened after I had spent a week in a tent with three friends. Even the showers didn’t provide any privacy, and I just couldn’t get myself to do the thing in a gross bathroom. When I finally got home, I immediately went for it. Since my first time, I had never gone so long without an orgasm, so an entire week’s worth of whoohoo came out.

I’ve also had awesome orgasms with another ex-boyfriend. His you-know-what was just too perfect. It fit in perfectly, it had just the right angle, and it could go an impressively long time without collapsing. I’m not proud of it, but even when be became too much of a jerk to stay with him, I postponed breaking up just so I could have a few more rounds with his perfect penis.

And then there’s the ones that were awesome because there was something special going on. Something I hadn’t done before. The first time a girl went down on me, the time I slept with a celebrity, and the first time I came while there was something (someone, rather) in my butt. I don’t know if those orgasms were only awesome because of the special settings, or that they actually were better than the other ones.

Want a final answer, huh? Fine. The bestest orgasm ever. There was a boy I wanted, and he wanted me. We never really did anything besides making out, but there was this tension all the friggin’ time. Until finally, on mutual friend’s party, the rope snapped. It was during a kiss, when he grabbed my butt and pulled me against him. I literally almost came right there, right then. I told him to find a spot where there were no people, and he found one in the basement. He didn’t wear a condom, we didn’t even get fully naked. It was just a moment of pure lust. He fucked me with my back against the wall and one leg kicked up around his hip. When he shot his load inside me, I came, looking him right in the eyes. You don’t need perfect settings for a perfect orgasm.

And the worst?

Even tho I know how to make myself cum in a good way, sometimes things just go wrong. The easy way for orgasms to get screwed up, is trying to have one when you’re not all that horny. I’ve had orgasms when my mind was somewhere else entirely, not being able to enjoy the orgasm at all. I’ve also had ones in places that were just too dangerous, so I couldn’t fully let go.

And of course, there’s been orgasms with people who just didn’t know how to make it happen. Sessions with a boy between my legs that lasted forever, or with a boy inside me that just bored me out so badly I could barely cum. I’ve even had a girl licking me for 30 minutes straight because I just couldn’t get there. When I finally came, it was the laziest orgasm ever, as if my body said: fine, thanks for the effort, now go away.

The very worst one was an awkward one. It was when I lived back home, and I was playing with myself in my bedroom. My dad was cleaning outside my door, and even tho I heard him, I kept on going – ready to get my hand out of my pants if he’d suddenly come in. But he kept on cleaning, so I kept on playing. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed and rubbed, until I was ready to cum. The second the orgasm hit, the door swung open. My dad was staring straight at me, asking some random question, while the orgasm raged through me. I tried to hide it as well as I could, squeezing my legs together. I couldn’t even answer him. Those have to have been the worst 20 seconds of my life.

Fun facts

Okies, to finish things off, here’s a list of things that you probably didn’t know about my orgasms.

• I choke during rubbing orgasms. It’s seconds of breathlessness, until the worst part is over and I can finally breathe again.
• During inside orgasms, however, I moan through the entire thing. I can’t have an orgasm with something inside me and not make a sound. It’s just physically impossible.
• There’s another difference. During rubbing orgasms, I close my legs and keep pushing them together as hard as I can. During the other ones, I spread my legs as wide as possible, leaving whatever’s inside me as much room as it needs.
• I’ve never faked an orgasm.
• I’ve videotaped my orgasms a few times, up close, to see what it looks like from the other side. (I know what you’re thinking, but no, those vids are private).
• Longest time without an orgasm: 17 days.
• Most orgasms in a day: 24 (25 if you count the last one, that I juuuuuuust couldn’t squeeze in before midnight).
• I’ve had several accidental orgasms, some while playing (and trying not to cum), some while doing something else entirely (biking, sitting on a boat, and even a spontaneous one).
• I’ve cum twice during writing this post. And I will again as soon as I post it.