Bent, spread ‘n more

I can’t believe I’ve never written a post about positions. There’s so many of them, and there’s so much to tell about each. It’s hard to say which one is my favorite, since every one of them has it’s good and bad things about them, so this list isn’t necessarily an ordered one. However!

#doggy

If you’d put a knife to my neck (kinky!) and forced me to name a fave, I’d probably blurt out doggy. Not because it’s the hawtest or most difficult one of all, but because there’s so much you can do with it. For starters, it can be done anywhere: bed, couch, floor, you name it. There’s also a lot of different possible iterations. For the girls: legs spread/closed, face up/down/against a wall, hands in front/down/between legs/tied behind back. For the guys: kneeling behind/standing behind/sorta hovering above/one leg up, hands on back/on hip/on butt/reaching in front/grabbing boobs/grabbing hair/spanking butt/infinity. Oh, and I think there’s few positions that can get rougher than doggy can. Get why I like it yet?

+ possibly the roughest sex ever
– red butt for days

#cowgirl

As much as I like the boy to be in charge, it can be nice to take the lead for a bit. And there’s no better way to do that than by being on top. Whether it’s regular cowgirl or reverse, I get to decide how fast, how deep, and how long things will be. Also, since both hands are free, I can rub myself or squeeze my boobs numb as much as I like.

+ unlimited rubbing
– girl gotta take the lead

#missionary

Okay, last “normal” one before we go deeper (get it? winkwink). I’m not the huuuuugest fan of missionary, I think it’s a bit too romantic for my usual bedroom flings. You’ll be able to look at each other, make out a little, wrap your legs around him, the kind of stuff you really only want to do with your bf/gf. That said… it’s fking intimate, it can get quite rough, and there’s a lot of details you can change to spice things up a little.

+ romantic af
– boring af

#standingup1

Having sex standing up is like missionary, but with a 45 degrees twist. This first version is about facing each other. It’s perfect for quickies in the shower, in bathroom stalls or in changing rooms. If a guy doesn’t have to get into your apartment more than a yard because he’s having you against the front door, you know you’re having a good fling. The easiest thing is to wrap your legs around him, but if you’re feeling random, you can also try to keep your feet on the ground and just bend backwards enough for him to find his way.

+ don’t need much room
– hitting a lot of solid walls and doors

#standingup2

This one’s the same, except the girl is not facing the guy. This version of standing up works best when there’s a lot of room, and nobody close. It’s perfect for kitchen sex, whether it’s bending the girl over the sink or during cooking or cleaning up after. It works well in the middle of an empty room, too. She can either bend over or lean in and arch her back as much as possible.

+ making boring tasks interesting again
– risk of slipping out with every thrust

#flatout

If you’re a girl and you don’t feel like moving much, this one is just for you. Here’s what you do: you find a man, you get naked, and you lay down on your belly. Don’t move, don’t spread your legs, make him do all the work. He’ll manage, eventually 😉 This is what this ass up high, face down low song was all about. Bonus: this is probably the best position if you’re into anal.

+ you can even grab your phone or watch telly
– lack of depth

#69

The ultimate foreplay. Why do oral without getting some yourself at the same time? And unless there’s more than two of you, 69 is the only way. It’s yin and yang, quite literally. It works just as well, or actually even better, with same-sex lovers. It’s not something you do with strangers, though, ‘cuz it takes some planning and determination to get it right. Bonus tip: it can also be done standing up (requires even more skills).

+ no one is left out
– can’t focus on the bj with a tongue inside me

#gameofthrones

I’ve made this name up myself, but I think it pretty much says it like it is. The boy will be the throne, he’ll be sitting on a chair, or couch, or bed, or anything. The girl will be the princess who sits down on him. There’s a few things you have to consider: do you open or close your legs, and which way are you going to sit? My fave version is a wide-spread throne, and a classy princess-like sitting position. But hell, you could even do it sideways!

+ who doesn’t want to sit on the Iron Throne?
– better not have skipped leg day

#sideways

This is a bit of a broad one, it can be done in more than one way. Most obvious sideways position is this: the girl is lying on her side, with one leg in line with her body and the other up in the air. The boy is sitting on top of her lower leg, leaning into the upper one. You need a bit of flexibility for this, but it’s worth it. You can close your legs as well, but that might make it a bit hard for him to get inside. Feels great, though! (also, second best anal position).

+ the more you spread, the longer he’ll last
– flexibility issues / numb leg

#curledup

You could spread your entire body, but you could also make it as small as possible. Sit down on your knees, pull your head towards them, and put your arms around your legs. There, curled up like a little ball of fur. You probably wouldn’t do this by yourself, so this one is perfect for some light bdsm. One rope to tie both hands and feet together, how’s that for efficiency?

+ let the kink out!
– doesn’t work if you’re claustrophobic

#sirweshouldntbedoingthis

I couldn’t come up with a better name for this one, so I imagined who would use it most, and I ended up with interns that get banged by their bosses. It’s a really specific position: intern girl is sitting on the edge of a desk or table, her hands behind her, her legs pulled up. Her boss is standing in between those legs. But don’t worry, even if you’re bf/gf or husband/wife, you could totally pull this off. The name I made up comes from the line the intern whispers when her boss is about to enter her: Sir, we shouldn’t be doing this!

+ don’t even need to take your clothes off
– banging your intern isn’t cool

#livingblanket

No need for blankets when there’s sex around in the bedroom, right? Sure, but what if it’s a living blanket? He’s lying flat on his back, and she’s on top of him, her back facing him as well. There’s not gonna be much fking, more like wiggling about, but that can be fun too, right? Good thing is there’s a 4 hands that have nothing better to do than touch things.

+ if he knows how to rub, this is when you start moaning
– barely any pounding going on

#gooutwithabang

Yesh, yesh, I’ll go out with a bang. After everything that is said and done, there’s only two ways you should allow him to finish. One: doggy, with your back arched until you can hear it crack, or two: you lying on your back, him sitting on your belly. If he’s a dripper, it all ends up on your belly (which is good). If he’s somewhat of a shooter, it all ends up on your boobs (which is even better). And if he’s young, crazy horny, or a virgin, it will end up every-fucking-where: your belly, boobs, your eyes, your hair, the pillow, the wall behind you, and if you’re lucky: in your mouth. Feeling sweet? Help him. Feeling slutty? Lean up and try to catch everything.

+ he will tell his friends about this moment forever
– it’s messy. it’s fking messy

I’m dying to hear about your fave positions! Is it on the list? Or did I miss one? Tell me!