Shower

This is a post about one of my favorite places to do dirty stuff in: the shower. There’s so much to love about it. Here’s 10 reasons why!

.1 people in showers are usually naked

I love being naked. I’ve written that before, and it’s still true. Nothing to hold me back. Nothing in the way. There’s just no reason not to touch yourself when you’re all naked.

.2 the doors lock

As much as I like getting naked or getting off in public places, it’s always nice to have a little privacy. Shower doors usually lock, even when you’re in a public place. No one is ever gonna know what’s happening behind that door but you.

.3 water numbs sounds

Kay, the most notorious screamers among us probably won’t agree on this one, but background noises usually help with keeping your shenanigans a secret. It could be music, it could be the washing machine, but it could just as easily be running water. Happy moaning!

.4 water is wet

No shit, Sherlock! But it’s true. I don’t have any issues with keeping myself nice and moisturized when I’m doing stuff, but that’s just down there. Everything just feels a little more badass when your hair is sticking to your cheek, when your boobs are covered in a thin film of liquid, and when your butt is all shiny.

.5 the shower head licks better than your bf

I mean seriously. Girls, even guys, have you tried this? It’s better than your fave vibrator. Better than your boi’s tongue. Definitely better than your own middle finger. It’s random, it’s wet, it’s continuous. You don’t need batteries, you don’t even need a boyfriend. Just aim the shower head at your hoo-ha and let the magic happen. Bonus points if it’s a shower head with different speed settings.

.6 get dirty before you get clean

Dirty sex is the best sex, but let’s face it: it’s gross. But with shower sex, there’s no need to run towards the shower after, because you’re already there! Did he cum inside you? Let it all drip out! Did he shoot all over your face? Hold it under the water for a while. Even when you’ve tried anal for the first time or, I dunno, end up all bloody (I dunno what you’re into?), it’ll all get nice and clean in the shower.

.7 mebbe there’s more naked ppl

If you’re at a swimming pool or locker room, chances are you’re not alone. There may be others. Naked others, or at least almost naked others. Chances are they aren’t as turned on as you are, but you can still look, right? Maybe even fantasize a little. Granted, you may need to wait until they’re gone, but hey. Don’t mind a bit of suspense now, do you?

.8 new ideas

As much fun as the shower can be, it’s usually quite hard to lay down on your back and let your bf missionary the hell outta you. Sp it’s perfect for trying out new things! Ever had yourself pushed against the wall, with your feet up against a glass door? Ever bent over so deep you could kiss your own knees? That’s what the shower does to people.

.9 temperature (Katy Perry ft. Sean Paul)

Nothing better than a cold shower when it’s raging hot outside, or a steamy one when it’s freezing. Showers don’t care about temperature, they can barbapapa into every number of F or C imaginable. It’s like doing it in a sauna, or at the North Pole. You’re hot, then you’re cold. I got the right temperature to shelter you from the storm!

.10 body lotion/oil/shampoo/stuff

Who ever determined that the stuff you use in the shower has to be all slippery and stuff? ‘Cuz I wanna give that person a bj or lj for his or her efforts. I mean water is great and all, but it doesn’t work like a lubricant, at all. But lotions do! They smell nice, sure, that helps. But they also make rubbing body parts of sliding stuff inside juuuuuuust a little easier. And come on. Wouldn’t you want your dick to smell like raspberries when you’re jamming it in?

That’s what I thought!

 

Ever done stuff in the shower? Liked it? Tell me below!